


Skin Crawling Vagary

by Eurydice_II_of_Macedon



Category: Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24543292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eurydice_II_of_Macedon/pseuds/Eurydice_II_of_Macedon
Summary: Kariya Matou, what is your wish for the Grail?Inside your mind, what is your dream?Crawling beneath your skin, what is your pain?Make your wish, keep your dream, and may you never wake up.
Relationships: Matou Kariya & Matou Sakura
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Skin Crawling Vagary

**Author's Note:**

> Reposted from an old account on FF(.)net in 2013.

Vision bleary, pupils dilated, coming in and out of focus. Haunts and frights. Pipes—an endless entanglement—lining the walls. The ceiling. Looping in straight etches across his vision, going in and out, down and around, further into the wall. The dark. Farther away, growing smaller and smaller, his vision growing dimmer and dimmer as, it too, stared into the dark. Swallowing the pipes and swallowing his vision. An ever hungry beast, this darkness. A darkness that, as he stared, in and out of focus, reached out to the slithering vile inside his soul. Inside his heart, inside his mind. Underneath his skin, underneath his muscle, and withering his very core.

A never ending darkness that devoured the pipes, that devoured his vision, calling out to the darkness that sank its teeth beneath his flesh, that constructed around the inside of his soul. The darkness calling back, answering with the same hunger—the same pulsing desire—from beneath his flesh. Crawling, slithering, withering, dancing beneath his flesh. Dancing beneath his soul. Wrapping around his heart, wrapping around his mind. Squeezing. It reached out to the darkness that ate at the pipes, intermingling with a dismal harmony: the darkness that gorged on his soul.

Pounding, his heart grew tighter and tighter, the muscles contracting, conforming to the vile that consumed his soul. He convulsed.

Sitting against the wall, slumped over, his pupils grew wide as this ever hungry vile slithered, feeding, bulging through his veins. Crawling, through his heart, up his throat, and into his brain. Into his mind, into his thoughts.

Pain, neverending pain. That which was felt, nothing but the pain; that which was heard, nothing but the pain. Ripping into his soul, tearing at his mind. Unbearable. Clutching his chest, nails digging into the synthetic fibers of his sweatshirt, grabbing at his heart, he bent forward and gagged. The vile spilled forth, painting the ground in black. He watched it slither, that which swallowed his soul, as it slowly died.

"Does it hurt?" a small voice asked, casting shadow that stretched into the vile.

"Yes." He couldn't deny the fact, as he watched it squirm.

"Then, why endure it?"

He followed the shadow to its source, to the pool of darkness that gave it shape. "Because..." he stared at the feet that stood above the pool, at the beautiful dress shoes that encased them, "I have to."

"Have to?"

"Yeah, I have to." His vision went from the feet, up to the ankle length socks that fit around the skin. "It was my choice."

"Choice?"

Going from the socks, up the slender, pale, legs, he came to the frilled ends of the dress itself. "Yeah, I made this choice. For you."

"Why?"

He smiled at the beautiful silk. "Because I want to," he coughed, haggard, as he stared at the small hands on either side. "For your sake."

"Mine?" the voice asked, hands clutching the sides of the skirt.

"Yeah, I can endure it then."

His vision went from the hands, to the sleeves, and then the waist. He took in the colors. Yes, he was doing this all for her sake, nobody else's. He was hers, and nothing: not the vile, not the darkness, nor the pain, would change that.

He was hers.

_Walking, arm dangling at his side, he fumbled in his stride. He had done it, finally, after a year of torment and anguish. He had done it; he had gotten a Command Seal. Albeit, at a cost. Destroyed was his former self; he was now a vessel, a shell, for the vile. Though, it didn't cause him any alarm, any sadness. It didn't upset him in the slightest, for now he was one step closer to his wish; his dream. He heard light footsteps approaching from the stairwell, and he smiled as a small figure came into view._

_"Hey, Sakura," he greeted, as the young girl stood still, agape with surprise at what he had become. "Did I startle you?"_

_The young girl gazed up into his face, at the bulging veins that snaked up and down. "Yeah, your face is..."_

_"I know," he said, continuing to smile, full of warmth despite the coldness now ever present inside his body. "Seems I lost a little bit to the worms inside of me. I guess I'm not just as tough as you are." He stood straight, letting out a chuckle, closing his good eye._

_"Uncle Kariya," the young girl said after a tiny moment, voice close yet distant at the same time, "You're turning into a different person. Aren't you?"_

_He shrugged. "Yeah, maybe..." he said, looking into the young girl's large eyes, seeing the warmth that was long gone still inside of them._

_"You know," the young girl continued, staring into his eyes, "I don't have to go to the worm pit tonight. Grandfather said there'll be a more important ceremony that I have to attend."_

_"Y-yeah, I know. That's why I'm going to the basement tonight. Instead of you."_

_"Uncle Kariya, are you going somewhere far away?"_

_"Well, I-I have an important job that I need to do for awhile, and I might not have much time to talk to you then. At least, not until I get back."_

_The young girl's eyes went to the floor. "I see."_

_He took a step forward in reassurance. "Hey Sakura, when my job is finally over, do you wanna go somewhere and just have fun? With your mom and sister too?"_

_"I don't have anyone I can call mom or sister. Grandfather said I should think of them like they never existed."_

_His smile vanished. Stumbling over with purpose, he got to his knees and took her in a loving embrace._

_"Uncle...?" the girl said, surprised, the side of her face pressing against him._

_It appeared again. "Alright then, when this is all over, let's take Aoi and Rin from the Tohsaka's." He held her tighter, her body warm despite being colder than his own, "Go somewhere as far away from this place as we can get. We can hang out and have fun, just the four of us, like we used to."_

_"Does that mean I'll see them again?"_

_"Yeah, you will. You have my word on that."_

_She hugged him tighter, burying her head into his chest._

_After a moment, he backed away, letting go."Alright," he grunted, getting to his feet, "I have to get going now." He smiled down at his wish, into her eyes so full of cold that he saw the warmth beneath._

_"Mmm-hmm." She nodded her head as he brushed past her, a look of determination on his face. "Bye bye Uncle Kariya," she said, watching as he struggled in his departure, clutching his limb. "Bye-bye..."_

Ah yes, he was hers.

Surging through his veins the vile spread, gorging more and more. Consuming his mana and eating his soul. As he screamed, he no longer saw her, standing above the pool of darkness. He twisted and turned, trying to bear it and, after a short time, it stopped. Relief swept over him as he had endured it once again, and, gazing up at the ceiling, closed his eyes, vision going dark. Breathing heavily, he tried to calm down, his heart threatening to burst forth from his chest. Screaming, wanting to paint the world red. Bowing his head, he managed to slow his breathing, and as he looked up, saw her again. His wish.

"Why are you suffering so?" she asked, voice cold and eyes dead; small hands not clutching the dress, hidden behind the skirt. She stood over a pool of darkness that reached out to his very core.

"Because Berserker has..." he started to say, then clutched his chest as another attack ripped through his body, the vile crawling beneath his skin, bulging out of his veins, "... to fight..."

"Why?"

"Because the priest said so!" he said with a grimace, the pain subsiding.

"The priest?"

"Yeah, he promised that he'd give me the Holy Grail," he explained, reaching forward as if to touch her. To grasp her again, once more. "If I have the Grail, I can rescue you."

"You're going to save me?"

He grinned. "Yeah..." He reached out further. "Remember? I promised," he turned his head, twitching from the strain, "that we'd all play together, like we used to..."

"Then, I can see Mommy again?" she asked, hands clenched into tiny fists.

His eyes went wide, then went back to normal, a new figure appearing, bathed in a dark light. "Your mother..." The figure stared down with scorn, a wicked expression that revealed nothing, fixing him with hateful eyes. Torment shred his body as he remembered...

_The church, ominous in the night, stood before him. Without a word, he stepped forward and pushed open the door, bathing the inside with a low light that added to how dusty the place seemed. As he searched the room, he spotted his target. Sitting in the front row, nearest the altar, was the man he had been searching for all this time: his goal._

_"Tokiomi Tohsaka," he growled, stumbling forward. The worms had permanently handicapped his movements, as he now always walked with a limp. Staggering closer, arms swaying at his sides, a rage filled him that even his father's worms couldn't contain. "You thought you'd killed me, Tokiomi?" he continued, smirking. "In your dreams. I'll keep getting up until I make you pay!" He stopped halfway to his goal, wary as to why he hadn't responded yet. It was strange, given Tohsaka's ferocity to get rid of him before, that now he said nothing. Did nothing._

_But, then, it didn't matter what Tohsaka did, he realized, because tonight he was going to die. He stepped closer, and was just about to touch his goal's back when the man fell to the side and out of his seat._

_"What...?"_

_Catching his target, speechless, he stared in disbelief at the obviously dead man laying against his shoulder. A cold sweat came over him as he realized what this meant._

_"Kariya?" a voice called out near the entrance to the church. It caused him to turn around almost immediately, holding Tohsaka in his hands to keep him from falling to the floor._

_"Aoi...?" He stared, mouth open, at the woman standing with a hand over her mouth in horror. He started forward, letting Tohsaka's body fall to the ground with a thud. "No! It wasn't me!" he shouted in haste, lifting his hands, realizing that his goal lay wide eyed and stone cold dead at his feet. Tohsaka's head was turned, revealing a surprised expression at his untimely fate._

_She stood still for a moment, taking in the situation. Then, steadily, she walked forward. Coming before him, her features disappointed, hurt, and cold, as she knelt beside Tokiomi's body. "Are you satisfied, Kariya?" she asked, touching his cheek. "The Matou family is guaranteed to win the Holy Grail now."_

_"I..."_

_"Why?" she whispered. "Was taking Sakura from me not enough? You had to kill my husband right in front of me too?" she said, looking into his face. "Why?" she asked again, her voice rising._

_"I..." he pointed down at the dead body of his target, "It's all his fault!" he screamed, finger shaking along with his whole body. "If it weren't for him everyone would've been happy! You and Sakura..." He lowered his hand. "You could've been happy!"_

_"Shut your mouth!" she yelled back, teary eyed. "What would you know about it? You've never even loved anyone!"_

_Then, everything was a blur._

I do love someone. _He bent forward._ Someone warm and kind. _Fingers coiled around her throat._ I wanted to make her happier than anyone else. _Squeezing._ A person I would've given my life for. _Harder._ The person I have given my life for. _Tighter._ That's the only reason I've been able to endure this pain. _She collided against a pew and fell on the floor._ I've endured... _He fell with her, continuing to suffocate._ Endured, endured, endured, endured, endured, endured... _She struggled frantically as her throat was being crushed._ Endured everything! _His back was scratched as she tried pry him off._ Don't you dare deny it all. _Tears fell in torrents down her cheeks._ I won't forgive that! _She was trying to speak now._ Lies, lies, lies...! All lies! _Pleas that came out as hoarse breaths._ I definitely have someone... _Hopes that fell on deaf ears._

There is...

 _Her eyes went wide as he choked her even harder._

... someone I love! 

_Her voice was gone, and she was pleading with her eyes._

Who was I fighting for? Whose fault is this? 

_In vain, foaming at the mouth._

If I'm going to die... 

_He stared into her eyes, seeing warmth._

.... I may as well...

The vile tore through his veins, as he clawed at the ground at the memory. He howled, slamming his head against the wall as his sorrow roared from his vocal-cords. Until, suddenly, everything grew quiet, and he sat there, head bowed, staring down at his sweatshirt, faintly smiling, recalling reality.

_The birds were chirping and the sun was shining. He stood before her as she sat on a park bench, casually reading a book. She looked up, noticing him for the first time, put the book down and smiled lovingly._

A moment later, he slumped over, and blacked out.

One longing wish, one deep desire; a faint hope, a flickering glimmer in the dark. 

That was what kept him going. 

That was all he had left; his dream. 

_Walking all the way back to mansion had left him tired, the vile ripping him apart in body and soul, screaming out to the darkness that slithered down in the worm pit. Hand over his left side, gazing over at the small figure a little ways down the steps that led to the worm pit, he grinned._

_He'd done it. He'd won._

_A sickly green glow illuminated her backside, giving off an ominous appearance, but he knew that she wasn't evil or a bad omen. She was his wish, his dream, and nothing would ever change that. Nothing._

_Stumbling forward, hood over his head, he smiled warmly as he approached. "Hey there, Sakura," he greeted with mild difficulty, legs carrying his weary body by willpower alone._

_"Uncle?" the girl said as she turned as he came closer. She didn't move from her spot._

_"I'm here to save you..." he said. "It's okay now." He grabbed her slender arm, still smiling. "Come on." The outside air was chilly as they left the mansion, and waiting outside was another girl, a little older, who cried out in joy._

_"Sakura!" The older girl took the younger girl in a strong embrace._

_"Rin..." the younger girl said back, overwhelmed._

_Proud that he could reunite the two of them, he knew that his job was done._

_"Kariya," a voice said from behind, kind and caring._

_He spun sharply, staring into her eyes. "Aoi..."_

_As he faced the two sisters as the two shared a silent agreement, nodding to one another at the same time. Both turned to him at once and smiled brightly, clasping their hands to their chests._

_"Thank you, Daddy Kariya!"_

He smiled warmly, lost in his dream, as he stumbled forward to reach out to the girl for the last time, still forever seeing the warmth in her eyes as he fell.

Sakura stared at the man lying at her feet on the stone cold steps that spiraled down to Grandfather's worm pit.

He was obviously gone, the vile having consumed him from the inside and taken the last strength from his ruined body as he had tried, hopelessly, to touch her, and she watched, as he slide further down the stairs, until, finally, his corpse mingled with the vile that called out from the darkness and the last visible part of him, his hand, slowly sank down into vile; being consumed by the darkness that had violated her and destroyed his life.

"What a foolish person," she said then, eyes empty and distant, "to go against Grandfather."

She continued to watch as the last of his pathetic existence was nothing more but a feast for the flesheaters, then turned around and continued the rest of her way up the stairs—never looking back.


End file.
